Cast
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Wonderella
Basically I am the raddest and best superhero ever. Here are my stats/powers:
Super strong, super durable, super hott, and I can totally jump hella high.
Also I have met almost the whole cast of the old sitcom Wings, and I can tell the difference
between an apple and a potato when I get a stuffy nose (most people cannot).Here is An Interesting Anecdote:
This one time? I took on a bunch of vampires in an Olive Garden, right? So I threw this giant
barrel at them like the hostess uses as a podium. And it was full of champagne bottles, and oh holy
crap but those corks went all over the place and they totally impaled all of the vampires like stakes
because I Kid You Not corks are apparently made of some kind of wood. Anyway those vampires went
straight to prison... DEAD prison. IN HELL. Ha!
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Dana Price
Who is this person? Why is she on my cast page? I don't know! I have never met her before FOR SERIOUS STOP ASKING ME GET THAT CAMERA ON OUT MY FACE
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Wonderita
So this Rita girl follows me around for frickin' EVER so I'm all "FINE if you're gonna stay you're gonna work" and longstoryshort she becomes Wonderella's sidekick Wonderita. Wonderita is loyal but also not the sharpest bulb in the drawer. She is A Very Plucky Girl who has not seen The Dark Ways Of This World.
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Hitlerella
Girl a stone bitch. She seems to dig on getting her ass kicked by me all the time. I bet she pays people to take a crap on her.
Germans.
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Penumbra
Okay so Penumbra was forged by the same blah blah crap that made me, so apparently she is my sister. Only she mainly floats and talks with reverb and homey don't play that Galadriel shiznit. ANYWAY she does the fancy dancy magic whatevs so I guess it's good she is on my side.
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Mom
Mom was the first Wonderella back in gold old times, and then I was Wonderita because it was either that or take keyboarding. Then she turned to crap and said I had to take over killing mutant apes and nazis. THANK YOU FOR YOUR WONDERFUL LEGACY MOTHER.
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Queen Beetle
All the powers of beetles! She can lift up to 170 times her weight and shoot out stink bombs and fly and swim fast underwater and eat poop (maybe). She also has a secret identity I will not reveal for various reasons. She's one of those people who got a degree in Whining About Problems so it's a good thing she's a superhero to pay the bills.
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Jokerella
Jokerella would be The Little Villain Who Could if she could do anything. She claims to be my arch enemy, even though that spot is taken (see Hitlerella entry). Hell, even if Hitlerella took to worm eats I could see like 20 people who'd pick up the stick before Jokerella became a contender. I mean what is she, 12?
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Doctor Shark
Here is my song about Doctor Shark,
He's the greatest doctor that is also a shark,
He once was a man but now is a shark,
He's Doctor, (pause), Doctor Shark!
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Ginormus
Ginormus travels the universe eating things that deserve to be eaten. Are you his next meal? probably.
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Spirral
Spirral also travels the universe, releasing Spirral Spores and mind-controlling everyone stupid enough to be a sucker. And yet, there is a sadness in his eyes. eye.
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Blue Behemoth
Not his real name, but for legal reasons we must call him this.
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